what don't i know? the unexpected.

John McCain said this tonight in the boring debate. Seriously, he actually said this. You know what else he doesn't know? What's going to happen in the future. What? He's not a fortune teller? Or at least a fortune cookie? Dumbest comments in debate history. Even dumber than Palin.

All in all, my assessment of the debate tonight was that both candidates are adept at evading tough questions, and that John McCain is pretty much a jerk. Also, Wolf Blitzer is seriously annoying, and kind of looks like a Monchichi.

Did you notice that McCain never mentioned the word "Palin" tonight? He didn't even say any word that rhymes with Palin that Palin might say...like "sailin," "trailin," "wailin," or "moose." That's telling. He's distancing himself from his own VP pick.

I never commented on the vice presidential debate last week - my bad! - but really it was a nonissue. Contrary to expectations Anderson Cooper did not explode. Bummer! But anyone who walked away from that debate thinking Sarah Palin either "won" or is ready to be a President of anything either didn't watch the debate or has a sick sense of humor. The woman is just not smart. Why do we want a vice president who had to go to 4 different colleges in order to graduate? I'm not making this up - check out wikipedia.

Less than a month left until e day. I'm not registered, but I'm still hopeful that the supreme court will come through for me. Oh, did I mention? I've hired a team of crack lawyers, just fresh from their defense of OJ, to petition the court to demand baby suffrage. Fingers crossed! Unfortunately, I haven't learned how to do that yet. So cross them for me.

You MUST check out this video. This is, without a doubt, the cutest video in history. My friend Regina is so funny when she plays with me!! Listen how I've learned how to scream. My parents love that, I assure you. No matter what they tell their friends...



I could watch this video all day.

Love,
Spencer

Blockhead!

No, I'm not talking about Sarah Palin...

I'm talking about my new favorite activity - taking my shape blocks out of their box, and putting them back in! How cute is this...



Love,
Spencer

Happy New Year!

For those of you celebrating Rosh Hashana today, I want to wish you a very healthy and happy new year, which in hebrew is pronounced chappy new year. I hope your upcoming year is flowing with milk and honey. As for myself, I get lots of milk, but babies aren't allowed to eat honey - you know, botulism and all - so I'll have to go with milk and cheerios. Just like the baby Moses ate while floating on the Nile.

Here's a little picture of me getting ready to go to synagogue today...








Speaking of Jewish things, most of you probably heard that Paul Newman died this week. I think he might have been a chef, with his own line of food products like Emeril, but my parents also say he was an actor at some point. Here's my tribute to Paul - don't I kind of look like I belong in The Sting?





And here I am trying to break out of jail, just like he did in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

You know, this makes me think about something - Robert Redford started the whole Sundance film festival and named it after one of his most famous characters. When is Billy Bob Thorton going to launch the inaugural Sling Blade Festival? Just a thought.

Love,
Spencer

Where's my bailout?

It's been a while since I blogged, and so much has happened!! Since my last post...3 more financial institutions have collapsed, a republican presidential campaign has been suspended and unsuspended, a reasonably boring presidential debate occurred and there were about 20 instances of what I now call a "Palin," which is defined as an instance where a person talks but makes absolutely no sense, and clearly makes herself out to be an idiot. Just look on youtube, you'll find lots of them there. Kudos to the liberal media for not staring into the camera in the middle of those Palin interviews and just saying "are you kidding me?" Bigger kudos to Jack Cafferty from CNN - type "jack cafferty palin" into youtube and you'll find what I'm talking about.

Let's talk about the presidential debate for a few moments. The pundits keep talking about two memorable catchphrases: 1) "you just don't understand" - the phrase that McCain's handlers clearly told him would be the new "there you go again" from the Reagan / Carter debates; and 2) "you're right, John", which Barack said a few times when McCain gave a reasonable answer before Barack had a chance. Not sure why pundits made such a big deal out of that - is it required that the two candidates disagree on everything? It's not like the candidates are black and white...wait, actually, they are. But you know what I meant.

What I remember from the debates was a little bit different. First, I remember how much of a condescending weenie McCain showed himself to be, with his passive-aggressive remarks intended to insult a fellow sitting senator. I'll grant that the "you don't understand" comments were a reasonable attempt to highlight a capability difference, and I can accept that attempt, but there were all those other quips he threw in there that were just plain rude and disrespectful.

Second, I remember McCain's attempt at humor when he made the terrible pun about the $8M that was going to study bear DNA - he said "I'm not sure if it was criminal or paternal". John, I'm 8 months old and even I know the word is "paternity", which you'd know if you didn't graduate 894th out of 899th in your naval academy class. And John, I'll bet that $8M was going to someone studying the nearly-endangered animals to keep them from going extinct, like the dinosaurs went extinct back in 1956 (according to Palin). And John, it just wasn't very funny. I could even hear the crickets chirping after he made that quip.

Third, I was SOOO happy that Barack finally got in McCain's face a few times, calling him out for conflicting statements and bad behavior - like when he said that McCain had no right to fault Barack on making public foreign policy statements when he himself had sung that totally insensitive Bomb Iran song. Now if only Barack would start running ads highlighting the Keating affair, and the fact that McCain left his wife after she was disabled in a car accident, and the fact that he is, on the whole, an arrogant ass (blame my dad for teaching me how to curse), then maybe I'd donate some money to the campaign. If I had a bank account, that is. And money. I'm a baby! What do you expect!

I'm pretty much in a huff now. Thinking about all this is getting me upset, and as we all know the most calming activity that exists to perk a person up is...watching videos of me!!

Here I am eating some peaches while my parents try to teach me how to clap!




And for you die-hard Spencer watchers, here's a longer video compilation of me crawling and playing (my apologies for the poor resolution, I'll try to fix it). I must admit that I personally find it kind of boring to watch 3 minutes of myself in everyday action, but I'm not the target market for this blog, you know...




For those of you who watched that video, consider this: you can never get those 3 minutes back. Sorry.

OK, now for some pictures...

Here I am in my full University of Virginia attire! A lot of good it did them, though. The Cavaliers got pasted by lowly Duke yesterday. Groh must go!










Doesn't it look like I got into a fight? If you think I look bad, you should see the other baby! No, I'm just kidding...with all this climbing and standing I've been doing, this was bound to happen. But you should see the hurting I put on that rocking chair!











Here I am doing my favorite activity, swinging!!












Oh my goodness, this is so cute I'm kvelling. Yes, I can speak yiddish.







I cannot - repeat cannot - wait for the vice presidential debate. It's going to have better ratings than the Super Bowl. The only show that could possibly get better ratings would be a live broadcast of Anderson Cooper clearing land mines where CNN guarantees he blows up. Of course, his hair would remain intact. But barely better ratings. It certainly helps that Palin's a bit of a babe. So set your Tivo to stunning.

Love,
Spencer

the whole financial world is crumbling...

...but I'm cuter than ever!





I have to make a few notes on this video.

1. If you don't start smiling and clapping after seeing how proud I was at the end, then you're a baby-eating Sarah Palin supporter.

2. Notice how my dad gave me motivation not only by putting a bright computer screen on the couch, but firing up the browser so that it was showing an article about the demise of Lehman Brothers and sale of Merrill Lynch, which I was dying to read about.

3. Also note that in my first attempt, I was too far away, so I was sharp enough to back away and re-start. I'm among the smartest babies I know. I only know a few babies, though.


I have to tell you, I could watch this video all day. Even if you lost your entire life savings today when the market tanked, this should bring sunshine into your life. Cue Stevie Wonder music.

Love,

Spencer.

BURP

I'm frustrated.

This whole Sarah Palin thing has gotten out of control. I'm quite frankly sick and tired of the double talk by conservative pundits and talk show hosts, about how she's a great candidate for all the qualities about which just months ago they were panning potential democratic veep candidates. I'm also sick and tired of hearing her say the exact same lines over and over and over again from a teleprompter. Congrats, Sarah...you can read. You've got one on me there. That doesn't mean you can govern the nation. Although I'll admit that reading is one skill I'm not sure the current President had when he started in office.

There are just SO many little snippets of fact that point towards my thesis that she will be even more drunk with power than Bush and Cheney have been. Some are well known but still ignored by the crazies on the right. She took per diems when staying in her own house? Did she write herself a bill for the mooseburgers she grilled on her George Foreman? And she tried to politically fire a librarian? Since when are librarians political positions? It's not like it was the Secretary of Libraries or something. Not to mention the whole TrooperGate thing (which sounds like a Star Wars play set; it's on my Hanukkah list).

But you heard it here first: I predict that eventually news will come out that she either bribed or blackmailed the boy that got her daughter pregnant to get him to propose so she could say they're getting married...and by December the engagement will be off. So says Spencerdamus. Can't wait for the National Enquirer to cite this blog in next week's issue.

This Palin scares me pale...in. If she's elected, I'm positive that when I get to first grade, all the textbooks will say that the universe is 5,500 years old and Genghis Khan killed all of the dinosaurs. And that's crazy. We all know that god planted dinosaur bones to test our faith.

I've decided to start a new club: Babies United in Revulsion of Palin, or BURP. If you want to join, we'll be meeting every week to discuss the curiosity that so many Americans seem to think that she's qualified to be the US Vice President, when even an infant can see that she's in way over her...dare I say...pay grade. If some adults could join, I'd appreciate it, since some of the charter members can't crawl yet, so we need help getting to the meetings.

We're going to have a huge baby party for the first Palin / Biden debate. Here's my prediction for some of what's going to be said:


Moderator: Governor Palin, with Russia increasingly seeking to re-establish its regional dominance through military means, how would you as a national leader work to resolve any future issues the Russian government has with Georgia?

Palin: Georgia...do you mean the state or the Soviet province? You know, I can smell Russia from my husband's snow machine.

Biden (to Palin): What are you doing here? (to audience) Are you people serious?? This is embarrassing.


WIth all that said, the only thing that can get us through the next 50 or so days is...the knowledge that every few days you can see new, unbelievably adorable pictures and videos of one Spencer Weinberg!

Here's one of my favorites! Lately, I've really been practicing pulling myself up to stand...and I think I've mastered it! Video to come on this one, but here I am in the process of climbing Mt. Mommy.









Here's a little circus trick I've learned - that's me hanging from my dad's fingers. He's not holding me up at all - really! - I'm just holding on for dear life...and then, of course, when I drop, it's so much fun to tumble!!




And he didn't do it just that one time...








I still love sitting in my Spencer chair! It's my new favorite place to feed myself from a bottle.











You know, sometimes a kid just gets really, really hungry.







Love,
Spencer

With a name like Fannie Mae...

It's official. If you create a company that has a silly name, it's bound to go bankrupt. So far this year, we've seen the demise of such notable weirdos as IndyMac Bancorp and Quebecor World and Linens N Things (what? you couldn't afford to spell "and" on your signage?) and, of course, anything with the word "airlines" in it.

And now, the silliest of the sillies have gone under - Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

The US treasury secretary, Hank Paulson...whose father is presumably named Paul...announced today that the government will be finally taking over the two government sponsored mortgage giants with names straight from 1950's Kansas.

I hear that the price tag is around $200 billion. It must have been a tough choice for George Cheney and Dick Bush to decide whether to spend $200B on the mortgage twins vs. invading another couple of muslim nation-states, like Iran or Sweden. But Barack seems to agree with the move, so it must be right. Barack knows EVERYTHING. He's my man. He loves change, and I love to be changed, so our interests are aligned.

Anyhoo, I don't like the idea of the government getting into the mortgage business. It sounds a bit Soviet. Next thing you know they'll be requiring any new housing to be built with concrete and Syracuse will start to look like Vladivostok...in more ways than just the weather.

This whole financial mess gets me depressed about the fact that my generation will owe about $250K each, at least, as our part of the national det (not a spelling error, from here on out I'm excluding superfluous silent letters - a baby has to have principles). But the more I get stressed about these factors that are beyond the average person's control, the more I've come to realize that what the country REALLY needs isn't change - it just needs more unbelievably cute pictures of me:

Here I am chasing after my mom in my birthday suit...and it's not even my birthday yet!











And now a few really funny faces!









Love,
Spencer