Obama raises $52M with help from BBB

Big news today from the political world. Barack raised $52M in june, more than twice the amount raised by John McCain ($22M). Not quite the $100M he'd set as his big goal, but still way more than the pundits were expecting.

What didn't make the news was that in addition to $52M, Barack received donations of 450 pacifiers and 340 sippy cups from ardent members of BBB. Separately, the McCain
campaign received 34 sets of dentures.

At this rate, if the election were delayed until next June, Barack could raise enough money to buy the island of Antigua and offer the presidency of that island to me. I think I'd make an enlightened despot for the people of Antigua. The only real law I'd impose would be that, upon demand, the nearest citizen would have to change my diaper. Beyond that, they could do what they want.

I forgot to post a picture the other day of my first bike ride! I didn't actually ride the bike - my sled-dad pulled me around while I sat in a little tent-on-wheels a few feet behind him.

I felt like the mother-in-law from the Jetsons - you remember how George Jetson's car had the separate seat in the back? If I really pushed this I could spin my entire ride into a civil rights violation...but it was a fun violation!

Love,
Spencer

Momentous Mobility!!!

You just won't believe this. You just won't.

First, I'm finally back in San Francisco. It's colder and foggier, but it's home. As we crossed the bay bridge into the city, the inflated housing prices were palpable and gave me shivers up my spine.

Second, I turned one-half today! I'm 6 months old...but still I'm not eligible to vote. Sorry, Barack.

And Third, I CRAWLED TODAY. Check this out!!



You'll notice in the video that I'm doing some serious panting - crawling is tough work when you're only 6 months old! But I can't begin to tell you how liberating it is to be able to crawl across my 4' x 4' multi-colored letter mat so I can chew on the rubber corners.

With the exception of my birth and the day I realized that Seal is likely to die before Heidi Klum, making her eligible to marry me once I'm 16, this is the most exciting day of my life!

Love,
Spencer

Middle of nowhere...

My parents are still dragging me around Oregon. I have no idea where I am right now. Seriously, I’m in the middle of nowhere. I’m in a town so remote there’s not even a Starbuck’s here! Then again, that may be a good thing.

So since we left Portland, we’ve been to a few places. Our first stop was to a town called Bend, which is up in the Cascade mountains.

On the way there, we stopped at two quintessentially Oregonian spots – a dam, and a manmade lake behind a dam. Most of Oregon’s power comes from water-based sources, such as man-made dams and schools of servant salmon harnessed to generators like sled dogs, forced to swim endlessly upstream. At the dam, there were 50 locals set up with fishing gear trying to catch fish before they got whooshed 500 feet down through the dam. My favorite part of the lake we visited was the concrete shoreline…seriously, it was concrete. It was a gorgeous day, and I loved getting out of my car seat to play in the woods! This is a great shot of me looking cute holding my giraffe, Sophie, while my dad multi-tasks on his cell phone.









Bend has a cute downtown, but it’s small, so there’s not much for an eligible young infant like myself to do at night. Bend is one of those towns that takes pride in having, in the dead center of its downtown strip, a 1950’s era ice cream shop, complete with blond 16-year-olds miserably dressed up as Flo from Alice (“Kiss my grits!”).

Really, Bend is a great launching point for long, mountain hikes, but given that it was 90 degrees, I was more inclined to breast feed, poop and sleep than go hiking, so we hung around town and checked out the sights. So what does a family do in a town like Bend when it’s that hot? We play mini-golf! Here’s a classic mini-golf pose; that’s me inside my mom’s anti-sun contraption…she looks a bit like humpty dumpty in that get-up!








Mom and dad wanted to stay overnight in a bed and breakfast in Bend, and on the internet it looked like there were a few cute ones…but I have some news that will shock many of you. NONE of the B&Bs in Bend would let us stay there! They ALL discriminate against babies! Sure, they give you a song and dance about being a place for “romantic getaways” where people want to “get away” from their “kids” at home and avoid “using” unnecessary “punctuation” to “emphasize sarcasm.” But really, B&Bs just hate babies. It wouldn’t surprise me if that scrumptious country breakfast an unsuspecting honeymooning couple is eating right now at a lovely Bend B&B has a banana walnut muffin that’s soaked in cinnamon-spiced baby tears!

I plan on getting the ACLU involved in this clear violation of baby civil rights – like MLK Jr. said in the first draft of his famous speech, “I have a dream that our nation will judge a baby not by the color of his poop, but by the content of his spit-up.” He changed that in his final draft.

Also, I promise to work to create a list of baby-friendly B&Bs around the country for all of you vacationing babies out there. I welcome suggestions for listings, as this is pretty much an empty promise.

So anyway, instead of a B&B, we stayed at a cute little inn/resort that had both an indoor AND an outdoor pool – and since it was 90 degrees outside, we took the indoor option, thank you very much. Here’s a quick picture of me in action…and admittedly, I’m not quite looking my best:









Next stop after Bend was to one of the natural wonders of the world, Crater Lake. A few facts I learned about Crater Lake. First, it’s in Oregon. I hadn’t known that. Second, it’s a big lake set in a crater. This made sense to me from the name, but it really hits you when you see it. Third, it’s deep – the deepest in the US and 3rd deepest in the world. Fourth, it was formed when Mount Mazama erupted and imploded on itself about 7,700 years ago – which I can only assume the National Park Service learned from an eyewitness account by John McCain (ouch). And fifth, it’s just plain gorgeous:








I really recommend a visit here – my parents tell me this is the first time they’ve done a traveling vacation in the US in many years…not quite a “staycation” but close enough…and they think it compares favorably to other natural wonders they’ve seen outside the country. It’s not like it’s a manufactured tourist trap like Mount Rushmore or the world’s largest ear of corn! We did some great hiking, including a jaunt 1,000 feet down into the crater to put our feet in the FREEZING cold lake…doesn’t my dad look like a walking crib with that toy hanging from his shoulder?









And I got to see my first snow!! In July? Who would have thunk it…









So now I’m just outside of a town called Klamath Falls, near Oregon’s border with the great state of California. As if Klamath Falls weren’t remote enough, we’re 12 miles outside of town. My first impression of Klamath Falls came at the Fred Meyer supermarket, where my mom and dad went to get some food to do a cookout, and when we were standing in the aisle looking at the ketchup, some random woman came up to us and said…I’m not making this up…: “Don’t buy Heinz Ketchup…that Teresa Heinz Kerry, she’s CRAZY!” Clearly I didn’t tell her about my Babies Behind Barack PAC, I didn’t want her to pour more crazies on me.

OK, just a few more pictures…










Love, Spencer

OOOOregon

I can now officially check off yet another state from my list of roughly 50 I need to visit to cover the whole US of A. I'm writing from Portland, Oregon, where my parents took me for a bit of vacation. Loyal readers will recognize that now, other than my home state of California, I've been to both Ohio and Oregon, meaning that once my parents drag me to Oklahoma I'll have one entire letter covered. Frankly, I think my parents chose a terrible letter. Ahem, H is for Hawaii, people!

Many people will know Portland as a city that sounds a lot like the capital of Maine. In fact, I'm 80% sure that Portland Oregon was founded by the descendants of the original settlers of Portland Maine, but I'm 90% sure I just made that up.

With the exception of constant cloud cover and hazy smoke wafting up from the fires in Northern California, I've loved Portland so far. The town has a lot of character, although I think it's a bit of a cop-out that their "landmark" is nearby Mount Hood. I mean, it's beautiful and all, but couldn't they create SOMETHING man made that they could put on shot glasses and collectible spoons? You know, San Fran has the golden gate bridge; New York has the Empire State Building; Houston has the aroma of stale petroleum - these are all memorable features created by the men who lived there. Maybe Portlanders could make a 4 story statue of Rasheed Wallace next to a 3 story statue of a ref giving him a technical. That would look nice on an "I heart Portland" t-shirt.

So what did we do in Portland, you ask? Well, we saw some old friends. First we saw my new friend Adrian, whose parents used to live in San Francisco. Adrian's mom has the same name and hair as my mom does...but in this picture she looks much less sleepy.








We also saw my dad's very old friend Stephanie and her family, which consisted of a Joel, a Samantha and a Gabrielle. We went to the park and then to an apparently famous bookstore called Powell's, which pretty much looked like a Barnes and Noble but without a co-located Starbuck's. I think I just pissed off an awful lot of Portlanders. It was so great to see them! In this picture I clearly look fascinated by Stephanie's hair.








I loved going to my first bookstore!











Also, we went to the second-highest year-round waterfall in the US, which is in the Columbia River Gorge just east of Portland. It's called Multnomah Falls. I spent an exhausting 75 minutes making my up a winding path up to the top of the 620 foot falls, and would have made much better time if my dad hadn't been so slow in pushing me up the hill in my stroller. I need to work on that guy.





My visit to Multnomah Falls now means that, in one form or another, I've now been to the three tallest year-round waterfalls in the US. When my mom was just one month pregnant with me, and I was roughly the size of Herve Villechaize, we visited Yosemite Falls and Nevada Falls in Yosemite Park. Frankly, Multnomah falls was nothing compared to those two. But what makes it worthwhile is having my dad constantly saying "mult-NOMAH" like a freaking annoying 2002 Red Sox fan. You Boston readers, you feel me. Even a zen baby like myself can only take so much.


Turns out Portland was also having Blues festival over 4th of July weekend. Having a blues festival in Portland sounds to me a bit like having a low-fat foods festival in Decatur Georgia, but I had a great time anyway. Here's a shot of me and my dad at the festival, with that ever-present cloud cover...and may I ask what's up with my dad's expression?












Finally, I spent some time scooping beans in a Peet's Coffee in the Pearl District in Portland. Next time you're in Portland, you should experience the smooth, refreshing taste of Peet's Coffee. Say that line again with a Billy Dee Williams voice and you have the makings of a Colt 45 commercial. Here I am hard at work behind the counter, scoop in hand:










OK, just a few more pictures before closing out. I was looking particularly cute and dimply today, don't you think? In the first one I look like I'm ready for an Apollo mission...






And here's a series of me getting jiggy with some tummy time:








Love,
Spencer

Family Dance Hour!

I just want to announce to the world that I have a favorite activity...Family Dance Hour. This activity consists of my family dancing for about an hour. I named the activity myself, I'm very creative. Here are a few pictures to give you a glimpse...




I just love doing this with my parents. They spin me around and around and for some reason they always end up kissing me over and over again. Maybe this doesn't quite qualify as a lambada forbidden dance, but it might be close!

This past weekend my parents and I took a trip up north to the center of all the wildfire action, up in Hopland, CA with our friends Chris, Doug, Jay, Laura and Megan. We got so lucky that when we got up there the winds picked up and blew the smoke totally out of our breathing space! So lucky!

I like getting out of the city. Don't get me wrong - San Francisco is a great town! - but being up in the country, the fresh air, the smell of cows and sweaty farmers, it just reminds me of my youth...mainly because my memory goes back about 10 minutes running, so all I remembered when I was up there was, you know, being up there.

So what does a young, eligible infant such as myself do when up in the wilds of Northern California? I did a bit of swimming...








I played a bit of Risk - and successfully defended Irkutsk with one army against the onslaught of 54 Mongolians!










And I drove around a buddhist compound called...I am not making this up..."The City of 10,000 Buddhists." Check their peaceful website out at www.cttbusa.com. Seriously. If you want to find it, take a left at Inspiration Avenue and a right at Mindfulness Way. I'm still not making this up. If you're old enough, you could enroll at Instilling Goodness Elementary School (home of the Fighting Badgers?). I'd never seen anything like this before. Apparently the compound used to be a state mental facility. I'll leave it to you to finish that joke according to your own personal threshold of cultural insensitivity.

All in all it was such a great weekend!






I also wanted to post one of my favorite pictures of me with my grandma Joyce, who came to visit a couple of weeks ago - we look cute together, don't you think?






OK, sorry no political discourse this week - quite honestly the only big news was all this brou-ha-ha about Barack giving up federal funding and, as McCain says, "going back on his word," but this is all so unbelievably ridiculous. If McCain could raise funds like Barack, you think McCain wouldn't be doing the same? McCain's just being a bit of a baby, politically speaking, and take it from a baby to know a baby. Anyway, I've spent too much time on this topic, it warrants about 5 seconds of mind share but that's all.

Have a great fourth of July everyone!

Love,Spencer

Can you believe I'm already 5 months old? I'm having trouble believing it, but mainly because I'm too young to have any sense of a time continuum.

Here's one of my shots that I'm planning to send in to Brooks Brothers. OK, maybe just Carter's, but a boy can dream, can't he?


Let's chat a bit about the fact that John McCain's attack machine is harping on the fact that Obama hasn't been to Iraq in about 900 days. One of McCain's main platforms is his "military leadership experience," so I can see why he's making this an issue.

Now Obama has stated that he's planning a trip to check things out. I think this is only fair. After all, one of Obama's main platforms is health care reform, and John McCain has apparently been to see a doctor 400 times in the last year.

Also, maybe people outside of California heard the news that the Golden State has started issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples. Given that I'm only 5 months old and have never read this "bible" thing, I don't know what the big deal with this is. But quite honestly, I kind of want to grab a friend and get married, because I like the idea of being the world's first "gayby." But I do like boob. I'm conflicted. Can a 5-month-old even BE conflicted?

OK, so a few more pictures.


Action shot! My dad and me playing airplane!



Look at how I can keep my chest off the ground!





I had to throw these adorable ones in. I'm so conceited!




Love,
Spencer

Omnivore or cannibal?

It's been well-documented that I dig the taste of giraffe. I've also gotten very much into the taste of duck.






But recently I've decided to branch out into more exotic fare. For example, take my toe (please!). After months of intense baby yoga practice, I've been able to reach my toe to my mouth, and to be honest I like the taste. I probably spend 20% of my lying-down time eating my toes.



One thing this range of flexibility has enabled for me is that I'm very much able to turn over from my back to my stomach! All I do is lift my feet to my head, lose my balance and suddenly I'm on my stomach. Below are some pictures of my turn in action!





Another piece of news from this weekend is that I went swimming for the first time! According to my dad, I was a natural in that I didn't cry and didn't drown. It was so much fun! It was like taking a bath but with no soap and fewer visible poop particles. I don't have any pictures of this momentous event unfortunately, which is a big loss for you since I look hot in a swim diaper. Maybe next time.

OK, enough about me, let's talk about the big news this week: Barack as the Democratic nominee, and Hillary's endorsement of him that was added to that of my political action committee Babies Behind Barack (BBB - make your donations payable to Spencer Weinberg's 529 Plan!). This got me to thinking: who would BBB support as a vice-presidential nominee?

I can tell you BBB won't be supporting Hillary Clinton. I have two reasons for not liking her, in addition to the reasons I've stated in previous blogs. First, I don't like that she tried to cheat by changing the rules in Michigan and Florida after the fact. That just shows she lacks some character. But more importantly, I have this sneaking suspicion that she actually eats babies - and if she doesn't now, then she would if the pollsters were to tell her it would work well with white, working class, middle-school educated, childless old women. Oh, and girls are icky.

So who else is in the mix? A couple of senators from Virginia, a governor of Ohio and Pennsylvania, a senator from Indiana...all these people bore me.

I've done some thinking on this, and my perspective is that whoever it is, he/she can't:

1. Rhyme with Obama. This means the dream ticket of Barack Obama and the Dalai Lama is just not going to happen. Plus I never want to see Richard Gere on c-span.

2. Be older than John McCain. This shouldn't be too hard, since there are only 10 Americans in that category.

3. Be from Illinois. This rules out Abe Lincoln. Also, he's dead. And he doesn't like the theater, or so I hear. But Obama / Lincoln would sound cool.

4. Be black, unless the VP is way blacker than Barack, like, say, Flava-Flav. But while this would probably increase turnout in some key districts in swing states, I can confidently say Barack would lose Pennsylvania. If you've been to central PA, you feel me.

5. Be someone who went to an Ivy League school - Barack went to Columbia and Harvard and for some reason he gets hammered for it. This rules out his wife, although the ticket Obama Obama has a great ring to it, kind of like Boutros-Boutros Ghali. (Cornell is probably OK, though - OUCH).

6. Have a middle name like Genghis or Hitler. Hussein is enough for one campaign, thank you very much.

Now I don't know where that leaves us. Honestly, I kind of wish he'd pick Al Gore...anyone else with me?



Love,
Spencer