So since we left Portland, we’ve been to a few places. Our first stop was to a town called Bend, which is up in the Cascade mountains.
On the way there, we stopped at two quintessentially Oregonian spots – a dam, and a manmade lake behind a dam. Most of Oregon’s power comes from water-based sources, such as man-made dams and schools of servant salmon harnessed to generators like sled dogs, forced to swim endlessly upstream. At the dam, there were 50 locals set up with fishing gear trying to catch fish before they got whooshed 500 feet down through the dam. My favorite part of the lake we visited was the concrete shoreline…seriously, it was concrete. It was a gorgeous day, and I loved getting out of my car seat to play in the woods! This is a great shot of me looking cute holding my giraffe, Sophie, while my dad multi-tasks on his cell phone.
Bend has a cute downtown, but it’s small, so there’s not much for an eligible young infant like myself to do at night. Bend is one of those towns that takes pride in having, in the dead center of its downtown strip, a 1950’s era ice cream shop, complete with blond 16-year-olds miserably dressed up as Flo from Alice (“Kiss my grits!”).
Really, Bend is a great launching point for long, mountain hikes, but given that it was 90 degrees, I was more inclined to breast feed, poop and sleep than go hiking, so we hung around town and checked out the sights. So what does a family do in a town like Bend when it’s that hot? We play mini-golf! Here’s a classic mini-golf pose; that’s me inside my mom’s anti-sun contraption…she looks a bit like humpty dumpty in that get-up!
Mom and dad wanted to stay overnight in a bed and breakfast in Bend, and on the internet it looked like there were a few cute ones…but I have some news that will shock many of you. NONE of the B&Bs in Bend would let us stay there! They ALL discriminate against babies! Sure, they give you a song and dance about being a place for “romantic getaways” where people want to “get away” from their “kids” at home and avoid “using” unnecessary “punctuation” to “emphasize sarcasm.” But really, B&Bs just hate babies. It wouldn’t surprise me if that scrumptious country breakfast an unsuspecting honeymooning couple is eating right now at a lovely Bend B&B has a banana walnut muffin that’s soaked in cinnamon-spiced baby tears!
I plan on getting the ACLU involved in this clear violation of baby civil rights – like MLK Jr. said in the first draft of his famous speech, “I have a dream that our nation will judge a baby not by the color of his poop, but by the content of his spit-up.” He changed that in his final draft.
Also, I promise to work to create a list of baby-friendly B&Bs around the country for all of you vacationing babies out there. I welcome suggestions for listings, as this is pretty much an empty promise.
So anyway, instead of a B&B, we stayed at a cute little inn/resort that had both an indoor AND an outdoor pool – and since it was 90 degrees outside, we took the indoor option, thank you very much. Here’s a quick picture of me in action…and admittedly, I’m not quite looking my best:
Next stop after Bend was to one of the natural wonders of the world, Crater Lake. A few facts I learned about Crater Lake. First, it’s in Oregon. I hadn’t known that. Second, it’s a big lake set in a crater. This made sense to me from the name, but it really hits you when you see it. Third, it’s deep – the deepest in the US and 3rd deepest in the world. Fourth, it was formed when Mount Mazama erupted and imploded on itself about 7,700 years ago – which I can only assume the National Park Service learned from an eyewitness account by John McCain (ouch). And fifth, it’s just plain gorgeous:
I really recommend a visit here – my parents tell me this is the first time they’ve done a traveling vacation in the US in many years…not quite a “staycation” but close enough…and they think it compares favorably to other natural wonders they’ve seen outside the country. It’s not like it’s a manufactured tourist trap like Mount Rushmore or the world’s largest ear of corn! We did some great hiking, including a jaunt 1,000 feet down into the crater to put our feet in the FREEZING cold lake…doesn’t my dad look like a walking crib with that toy hanging from his shoulder?
And I got to see my first snow!! In July? Who would have thunk it…
So now I’m just outside of a town called Klamath Falls, near Oregon’s border with the great state of California. As if Klamath Falls weren’t remote enough, we’re 12 miles outside of town. My first impression of Klamath Falls came at the Fred Meyer supermarket, where my mom and dad went to get some food to do a cookout, and when we were standing in the aisle looking at the ketchup, some random woman came up to us and said…I’m not making this up…: “Don’t buy Heinz Ketchup…that Teresa Heinz Kerry, she’s CRAZY!” Clearly I didn’t tell her about my Babies Behind Barack PAC, I didn’t want her to pour more crazies on me.
OK, just a few more pictures…
Love, Spencer
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