Moby's quarterly report

Buried deep in the fine print of the new financial reform bill is a requirement that every family publish quarterly reports on infants to the newly-created Security Blankets and Diaper Changes Commission (kind of like the SEC only more mature and infinitely more effective. So I'm attaching below Moby's first 10-Q filing, given that today he officially turned three months old.

A huge thank you to former Florida congressman Mark Foley for his efforts, in conjunction with my PAC, Babies Behind Barack, to get this critical measure into the overhaul package. You know what they always said about Mark Foley - he's a great lover of children. Wait, that doesn't sound right.

Drew's Statement of Income:

Revenues: Drinks plenty of milk. Loves it. Can't get enough of it.

Expenses: Poops like a hippo. 8 diapers a day, minimum.

Net Income: Has gained 6.5 pounds since birth. Go Drew!

Drew's Balance Sheet:

Assets:
Smiliness
Ability to withstand tummy time
Can actually move a few inches on his stomach
Rolls over front to back (surprising himself in the process)
"Talks" in his baby way constantly
Mellowness
Overall cuteness

Liabilities
Prodigious laundry requirements
General baldness
Difficulty sleeping through the night

Brothers' Discussion & Analysis:

What a fantastic first three months as a big brother!! I feel the need to show this picture to kick things off...how cute is this kid!!























And how about this kid too. Yeah, the one on the right. I know, I'm so conceited.













We had a ton of visitors in the last month or so. All of my grandparents, and my cousins and Aunt and Uncle too! Here's my favorite picture of me and my cousins.














We went to this awesome airplane museum and my dad tried to feed me to one of the animal planes. And Moby had an amazing time there. Not.





















And my grandparents came too. They're not as fun as my cousins, but they're still pretty darn fun. Hopefully they don't read the part about them not being as fun as my cousins. If they're reading this, then these aren't the droids you're looking for.


















OMG, side note: look how cute my parents are, here on our back deck Makes me want to spit up with happiness.












And we celebrated Rosh Hashanah, Moby's first as a Jew. No, he didn't convert, he just didn't exist last year!
















I'll just close my analysis of Moby's first quarter by saying I love my brother. He just better not touch my train set.











Love,
Spencer



ps: I call this my one-sided Rollie Fingers look. Don't I totally look like a shaky-handed drug dealer?