Spencer Protests Olympic Torch in SF

Today the Olympic torch made its only stop in the US here in San Francisco. Those of you following the news heard that thousands of people lined up on the announced route along the Embarcadero - supporters and protesters alike - only to be duped by a last minute change that re-routed the torch along a different, secret path to the Golden Gate bridge that nobody watched and nobody protested. Also, I heard through my network that to make positively sure protesters didn't catch on, the torch was disguised, so random San Franciscans going about their daily affairs witnessed 80 people in white jumpsuits each running 100 yards passing a garden gnome with its hat on fire. For those of you who thought this was a protest against Expedia, this was in fact the Olympic torch. The whole thing kind of reminds me of when the Colts left Baltimore under cover of darkness.

I protest this type of subversiveness! Now, to be straight with you, I don't know much about China. Some protesters went on and on about Tibet, and about the Falun Gong Show, and artificial exchange rates that hold down US wages, and environmental degradation...but I don't know anything about these things. My most loyal readers (i.e., Dad) know that to me, everything is about eating and pooping...and Chinese food-influenced breast milk tastes yummy and makes my poop smell like soy sauce. So I'm all for that. But not this subversiveness!

So I know it's a bit late to protest an Olympic torch run that's already been run and is now on a plane to who knows where (unless it was planning to fly American Airlines, of course).

But I protest anyway! And what am I going to do about it? You're on the edge of your vibrating bouncy chairs, aren't you...

I'm calling on all babies to baby boycott the Olympics! Not the whole thing, of course. I kind of like track and field. And swimming and diving are interesting. So are soccer and all the team sports. And gymnastics and wrestling. Actually, most of them are kind of fun to watch or mock.

But since I have to baby boycott something, I'm choosing archery.

In no way will I watch any of the archery coverage on NBC this year! I urge babies worldwide to join with me to send this message to the torch people! Down with archery! (Note - if someone gets accidentally impaled with an arrow, I'll probably break down and watch it on youtube).

Here's a picture of me with my version of the Olympic rings. My look of consternation is palpable, no?












While we're on the topic of Olympics, why isn't there a babylimpics? There's a regular olympics, a special olympics and a paralympics. Lots of companies do office olympics, but they're generally stupid. Every college fraternity does drinking olympics to get stupid. But no baby olympics? If there were a baby olympics, I'd definitely enter the competition for rhythmic crib standing. Check this out - and I'm not even three months yet!












BTW, the whole story about the subversive torch run is totally true. Except the garden gnome thing, maybe I made that up.

That's it for now.

Love,
Spencer